Achoo!
by xlyphiechanx
Summary: "Uncle Sasuke says spicy food makes the sniffles go poof!" Well honey, Uncle Sasuke was WRONG. A one shot in where Naruto gets sick and his kids think Uncle Sasuke's special soup will make their daddy feel better / One Shot! Naruto x Sakura [cover art is not mine!]


"Achoo!"

The Hokage sneezed for the umpteenth time that evening. Grabbing a tissue and blowing his nose loudly, the whisker-cheeked blonde mentally cursed the cold that was slowly creeping in.

"You look like poop." A voice says as the door creeks open, revealing a dark haired Uchiha holding a stack of papers in his arms.

Crumpling up the tissue, the Hokage tosses it in the trash bin and scoffs at his raven-haired friend.

"Says the guy whose hair is shaped like the butt of a-"

"Don't you dare say it."

"Duck."

Sasuke drops the papers on the desk and glares angrily at his friend.

"You're a pain." Sasuke deadpans, folding his arms over his chest before plopping down in the chair facing the Hokage desk.

Naruto scans the stack of papers, sighing heavily as he counts over one hundred.

"You have to have those signed, stamped, and enveloped by tomorrow afternoon." Sasuke states, watching as his friend's face turns from slightly okay with the amount to completely dreading the thought of even looking at the papers.

Sneezing again, Naruto rubs his nose and reaches for a tissue.

Sasuke sighs as he watches his friend blow his nose. It's no mistake that indeed the Hokage has come down with a nasty case of _the cold._

The word sends a shiver down Sasuke's spine. He knows just how much his good friend hates cold medicine and after last time's incident…well let's say things didn't end well.

Tossing the snotty tissue into the trash, Naruto sighs before picking up his handy dandy orange (let's just say the council couldn't refuse a two year old begging that his precious daddy use the color orange and yes Naruto set him up to say it) pen and begins to scribble his signature on the papers.

Sasuke grimaces as he watches his friend's lids slide down ever so slightly.

"Listen Naruto, you should go home and get some rest. You can finish this up tomorrow morning if you're feeling better." Sasuke insists, standing in his chair and giving the blonde a concerned look.

Naruto waves it off.

"What are you talking about? I just have a small runny nose, I'm fine promise." He confirms, signing his name off on yet another sheet of paper.

Sasuke frowns.

"Look here," He points down to where Naruto had just written his signature, "You're signing 'ramen' on every paper. You're definitely hungry, and definitely ready for bed." Sasuke insists, grabbing Naruto's pen and placing it at the far end of the desk.

"Sasuke noooo." Naruto whines, like a child, feeling to tired to grab the pen and argue with his teammate.

Sasuke rolls his eyes.

_And this guy runs a village._

He thinks to himself, wondering just how the Leaf has survived so far.

Still protesting that he's not sick, Naruto reaches over to grab his pen only to be lifted in the air seconds later and hoisted over the Uchiha's shoulder.

"Come on, you're going home." He says making his way over the door.

Naruto lets out a long moan and tries to squirm off of him, but he's too weak and instead collapses like a sack of potatoes.

He's snoring by the time the door shuts.

xXx

_Ding Dong_

Poking her four year old daughter on the nose, the pinkette is startled by the sudden ding of the doorbell.

"I wonder who that could be, maybe daddy came home early today hm, Hana?" Sakura asks her daughter, who smiles brightly at the mention of her precious daddy.

"Yay, Daddy! I can show him my drawing!" She exclaims happily, grabbing a purple crayon and coloring her picture at a rapid pace to finish up.

A sweet smile spreads across Sakura's lips.

"I'll get the door!" A young voice says as the sound of two rapid moving feet fly down the stairs. A blonde haired boy, wearing his bright green footie pajamas, races to the door and flings it open without a second thought of who it might be.

"Shinachiku, don't go around opening doors to anyone that rings! What if it was a stranger?" His mother scolds, giving a pointed glare towards her son before looking up and seeing her none other than Sasuke Uchiha, wearing his usual stoic expression, carrying her husband who is snoozing away on his shoulders like a sack of potatoes.

The scene causes Sakura's jaw to drop.

"I assure you I am no stranger little man." Sasuke says, as the seven-year-old blonde smiles happily.

"See mom? It's just Uncle Sasuke!" He peeks around the Uchiha trying to make out who's hoisted over his shoulder.

"Oh and dad! Uh, why is dad sleeping on your shoulder?" Shinachiku asks, looking skeptically at his Uncle who sighs.

"He's getting sick and didn't' want to come home, so I took matters into my own hands." Sasuke says casually to the young blonde who only nods.

"Why don't you go finish up that homework I know you didn't start." Sakura says sweetly, but there's a deathly aura radiating from her.

The green eyed Uzumaki nods with a glint of fear in his eyes.

He knows his mother's wrath, and he does _not_ want to get caught up in it…again.

"Yes m'am!" He mock salutes her and marches off to his room.

Sighing as she watches him go, the pinkette turns her attention back on the Uchiha.

"You gonna let me in or am I going to stand out here all day with the Hokage drooling all over my back?" The Uchiha jokes, but the twitch in his eye shows that he's slightly irritated.

"I mean, he does seem pretty comfortable…"

"Sakura, I'm coming in."

And with that, Sakura steps aside laughing slightly as the Uchiha plops the blonde down on the couch.

Naruto doesn't even stir, he just keeps on snoozing away.

"You can't even believe the looks I got from the villagers, not to mention his snoring is so loud. How do you sleep with this thing every night?" Sasuke asks, thoroughly curious.

"Ear plugs do wonders." Sakura says simply, taking a seat on the couch next to her husband. She places a palm on his forehead and feels that his head is radiating heat. Shaking her head a small frown spreads on her lips.

"He's always overworking himself," She turns her attention back to the Uchiha,"Thank you for bringing him home Sasuke."

Sasuke nods.

"Ah, well I should get going have fun trying to get that cold medicine down his throat." He says with a small laugh before departing.

Sakura's eye twitches from his remark.

She loved her husband, but getting him anywhere _near_ that purple syrup is like telling him to go chug a bottle of poison.

"Sakura-chan? Where am I?" Naruto says sleepily, slowly opening his eyes.

"Sasuke brought you home, and you have a massive fever. Time to get you in bed, come on." She says, helping him up. He groans as he sits up, and instead of walking up the stairs and into his room he uses a little cheat jutsu from his father and flashes into the bedroom where he proceeds to collapse on the bed.

Sakura blinks rapidly.

"I'll never get used to that jutsu." She says, more to herself then to her husband.

Throwing some blankets over him, and pulling off his shoes, Sakura places a gentle kiss on his forehead before heading downstairs.

"Mama is daddy home?" Hana asks, still coloring as she looks up to her mother.

Sakura nods.

"Yes, but he's very sick so you can't go anywhere near him otherwise you'll get sick too." Sakura explains, watching as her daughter's eyes widen.

"Will he be okay?" Her daughter asks, a hint of fear and sadness lacing her small adorable voice.

Sakura pats her daughter's strawberry blonde hair and nods.

"When has your father ever let anything beat him?" She asks and laughs as her daughter smiles.

"Daddy never gives up." She states happily, and Sakura pecks her daughter on the cheek.

"That's right!"

Sakura smiles at her daughter as she watches her return to her coloring.

"So, dad's sick huh?" A voice asks, just as Sakura enters the kitchen.

"Aren't you supposed to be doing homework young man?" Sakura asks her son, who is chewing on some carrots.

The pinkette still doesn't understand why her son has this crazy obsession with carrots…perhaps because they're orange. It is his favorite color after all.

"Uh, well I kind of need help…but it's not due until Wednesday so I have another day to do it. You can help me tomorrow right mom?" The blonde asks, popping another small carrot into his mouth.

Sakura sighs.

"Of course I'll help you Shinachiku, but hey I'm going to run down to the pharmacy to pick up some medicine for your father…you don't mind watching over your sister for a little bit? Just color with her, she's been doing it for hours and it seems to be quite entertaining."

Her son nods.

"Yeah sure!" He says happily.

Sakura smiles warmly towards him. She grabs her house keys, which are on the kitchen table and then heads towards the door to grab a jacket.

"I'll be back in half an hour, don't do anything you wouldn't do!" She calls from the door before heading out.

Once the door is closed, Shinachiku runs over to his sister and whispers something in her ear.

Hana nods happily at her big brother's words, and they both run into the kitchen.

The sound of something clattering causes their father upstairs to stir in his sleep.

"Ramen, don't goooo~"

And then he rolls off the bed.

Dramatically, of course.

xXx

Opening the front door, carrying a small grocery bag of fresh fruits and medicine, Sakura's eyes widen.

Smelling the overpowering odor of something burning, she drops her bags on the living room couch and rushes to the kitchen.

Seeing that the kitchen is empty of her two kids, she's about to turn on her heel and rush upstairs when she notices the fridge is wide open, hot sauce bottles litter the kitchen counter, there is a bowl of water and vegetables supposedly "cooking" on the stove, and the whole kitchen is a complete mess.

Feeling a vein pop on her forehead, Sakura grits her teeth in anger.

To think she just cleaned the kitchen spotless this morning.

Rushing up the stairs, she flings the door open to both of their rooms to find it empty.

Just where did those little rascals go?

It's then she hears to little voices coming from her bedroom.

Sneaking up, she peaks through the small bedroom door crack.

"It'll make you feel better, Uncle Sasuke said that is spicy foods make sniffles go poof!" Hana says happily, sitting beside the older blonde who is sitting up in bed with a bowl of soup (if you can even call it that) settled on his lap.

"Are you guys sure this will make me feel better? Did mom say so?" Naruto asks his two kids, looking at their eager faces and feeling guilty if he doesn't take just a sip.

"Just drink it dad, would you rather take the medicine?" Shinachiku asks, a smirk spreading across his features as his dad's face pales.

"Here goes nothing."

Sakura watches with widened eyes as her husband lifts the bowl to his mouth and literally drinks the bowl clean.

"NARUTO DON'T DRINK THAT!" Sakura bursts the door open, but much to her horror it's too late.

Hana and Shinachiku watch eagerly to see what their father is going to say while Sakura's mouth just hangs open.

Naruto on the other hand, wipes his mouth with the sleeves of his shirt.

"Well, that wasn't too bad." He states simply.

The two kids smile and Hana grabs the bowl from him.

"We'll go clean up, feel better daddy!" She chirps happily, planting a kiss on his cheek before hopping off the bed and rushing past her mother who is giving them both pointed glares.

With the kids out of sight and their feet making noises as the stomp down the stairs, Naruto begins coughing.

"What did they put in that?! Was the really medicine?" He asks, feeling his throat turn into a bonfire as the hot sauce begins kicking in.

"Of course not you idiot, they loaded the 'soup' with hot sauce. You literally just drank raw vegetables in a bath of watery hot sauce!" She shouts, huffing out a breath and folding her arms over her chest.

Naruto's face turns bright red, up to the tips of his ears.

"Hot, hot, hot, hot, hot!" Naruto says repeatedly, throwing off his covers and rushing to the bathroom sink. He stumbles on the covers, his foot getting tangled up in the sheets, and scurries to get up, his face now bright red and beads of sweat lining his forehead.

Sakura follows, an amused smirk on her lips.

Throwing his face under the sink her pours ice cold water on his tongue.

Much to his displeasure, it doesn't help at all.

"Milk!" Naruto exclaims, turning off the sink water and rushing down the stairs.

Ignoring the mess, which honestly doesn't bother him, he rips open the fridge doors and scans for milk.

Just his luck, they ran out this morning.

"You've got to be kidding me!" He says loudly, cursing under his breath as he grabs a bottle of blue cheese dressing.

"Yo, Shina, this contains milk right?" He asks his son, who has a bewildered expression glazed over his features.

"Uh, yeah?" He answers, grabbing a fistful of carrots from a bowl.

Naruto's eyes light up and he rips open the cap, pouring the blue cheese down his throat.

His son's eyes widen.

"DAD STOP I WAS GOING TO DIP MY CARROTS IN THAT DRESSING!" He yells, getting up from his seat at the kitchen counter and jumping on his dad's leg.

Naruto ignores his son's pleas, continuing to drink the oozing dressing.

Sakura watches from the living room as she holds her daughter in her arms.

"Remind me that when you're dating, you don't come to me for advice okay?" She asks her daughter who only looks at her with wide blue eyes of confusion.

"SAKURA HELP ME!" Naruto screams from the kitchen.

Sakura shakes her head.

She grabs the cold medicine on her way to the kitchen.

_5 Minutes later~_

"OPEN YOUR MOUTH NARUTO AND DRINK THE MEDICINE!" Sakura yells, pinning the blonde down on the kitchen counter.

He zips his mouth shut and shakes his head, squirming under her firm grasp.

"Naruto, be a good example to your children and open your mouth."

The blonde shakes his head.

"This is your last chance."

He shakes his head again.

Clenching her fists, she pours the medicine on the spoon and looks at her husband with fire in her eyes.

"Here comes the plane…"

And she shoves the spoon in his mouth.

A choking sound escapes the blonde Hokage.

Her kids peek their heads around and look at one another.

"I'm never getting on mom's bad side ever again."

xXx

Knocking on the door, Sasuke folds his arms over his chest and peaks an eyebrow as a disheveled pinkette opens the door. Her hair is flying in all sorts of directions and there are bags under her eyes.

"What do you want?" She asks bluntly, sniffling as she does so.

"I'm looking for Naruto, he's half an hour late for work." He states and then puts on a concerned face.

"Are you okay?"

Sakura simply sighs.

"Hana and Shinachiku woke up with a fever this morning and have been vomiting all night, Naruto drank a hot sauce soup and wouldn't drink his medicine so I accidentally choked him and he was puking hot sauce all night. I didn't get a wink of sleep so no Sasuke I am _not_ okay."

Sasuke blinks a few times before opening his mouth to say anything.

"Wait, he drank hot sauce soup?"

"Yes, the kids said 'Uncle Sasuke' said spicy food would make the 'sniffles' go away." She spits out, glaring angrily at the Uchiha who seems to have grown much interest to the sky since he stares at it.

"They could have killed him last night you know?" Sakura says, folding her arms over her chest and leaning against the doorframe.

"I'm sorry, I didn't think they'd dump hot sauce into soup…"

"Water Sasuke, with raw vegetables."

The Uchiha pales.

"MOM DAD'S JUST THREW UP ALL OVER THE CARPET AND AH HANA NO-"

Sakura sighs heavily and shoots a pointed glare at the Uchiha.

"How do you feel about cleaning up puke?"

Sasuke shakes his head and rubs the back of his neck sheepishly.

"That's what I thought." Sakura deadpans, stepping away from the door and shutting it in Sasuke's face.

"SHINACHIKU SERIOUSLY RIGHT ON MY FAVORITE ROBE?!" Sakura yells, her shouts being heard from outside.

Sasuke shivers at the thought of what must be going on in that household. Turning on his heel he proceeds to head home, to where his wife is probably cooking up some sort of breakfast and they'll have a peaceful conversation without any disturbances.

About halfway down the steps, the door flings open and Sakura storms out, grabs the Uchiha by the collar, and shoves him back in the house.

"I'm going out to buy more medicine. Have fun babysitting."

Bewildered and confused, the Uchiha blinks and stares at the front door that slams shut.

"Sasuke get the bowl-"

Naruto doesn't finish the sentence before he throws up.

And all over Sasuke's brand new shoes.

This is what he gets for being a good friend and dragging him home.

Thank goodness he doesn't have his own ki-

The Uchiha's phone vibrates in his pocket.

"Hello?" He says, and receives a high pitched scream instead.

"Sasuke guess what?!" The voice on the other end asks.

"What is it?" He asks, confused as to why his wife is literally screaming while he's cleaning puke off of his shoes.

"I just got back from the doctor's and I'm…I'm pregnant!"

He drops the phone and pales.

Looking to his left he sees the three Uzumaki's moaning and rolling around the couch complaining that they aren't comfy and their stomachs hurt.

Sasuke Uchiha,

Was going to go insane.

* * *

_AN: I was bored xD please review!_


End file.
